You couldn't make it up

Thursday 25 November 2010

Brisbane Day 1: England 260, Australia 25-0 Oh dear Well, I predicted Australia would just shade day one and but for a certain Mr Siddle, I may have been right. But in the end it was all very black and white. Just imagine taking a Test match hat-trick on your birthday - you really couldn't make that one up. Good job for Australia that Siddle is not of German extraction like his team-mate Ben Hilfenhaus, otherwise he would have struggled to run up to the wicket after consuming his birthday pastries and cakes. Encouraged by a partial success with my first prediction, I now confidently forecast: (1) England will get slaughtered in the media for their performance today (that's the easy one) (2) They will bounce back strongly on Day 2.

How wide will it be?

Thursday 25 November 2010

The journalists and commentators seem pre-occupied with this question on the eve of the series opener in Brisbane. But are they referring to the first ball of the series? or the average waist measurement of a Barmy Army member? or perhaps Sir Ian Botham's matchday suit?

As I'm stuck in a hotel in a small Northern German town (no Sky!!), I won't know the answer. But at least I'll get a good night's sleep.

First cricket prediction (a.k.a. hostage to fortune) of my blog: the Aussies will come out fighting and just shade day one.

[Original comments]

Stefan November 25, 2010 at 9:58 AM

Wonderful idea including the travel and everything - I promise to follow. Maybe you can start explain me some of the secrets of crickets and give some hisotry of the weird ashes cup. Why is it called ashes (burned widgets ? - or how do you call the wooden bars ?) You see some of us are not full into cricket yet so please enlighten us.

Richard November 25, 2010 at 11:06 AM

Stefan, you obviously know more about cricket than you think! The widgets were indeed burnt and are called "bails" (the small bits of wood that balance on top of the "stumps"). Great story, some of which may even be true. Here's an article in German from yesterday's Zeit, which tells the story: http://www.zeit.de/sport-newsticker/2010/11/24/260812xml

Revealed - Australia's secret weapon

Tuesday 23 November 2010

I can't go any further with this blog without dealing with the main matter at hand. Yes, the fact that it could be a little bit chilly back home is just a convenient smokescreen – really I am going to Australia to watch the cricket. In fact, I hope I am going to witness England win the Ashes. Away from home. Which hasn't actually happened for 24 years. Several species of pig may well have soared through the skies in the meantime. As they say in these parts: die Hoffnung stirbt zuletzt (literally: hope dies last).

But first I need to come clean on the effect my support (and that of my children Annabel and Simon) tends to have on the fortunes of my favourite sports teams. This will surely give Australia the boost they need ahead of the start of the Ashes series on Thursday.

I admit the sample size is small (one football team, two games). The choice of team to which we pledge our allegiance could possibly be seen as misguided (Charlton Athletic) - except by me of course (the kids are somewhat less convinced). Yet no-one can deny the catastrophic impact our presence in the stadium has on the fortunes of our team.

November 2008: The temperature in London may have been minus five but my naïve heart was warmed by the prospect of taking the kids to their first ever match at The Valley. When our brave boys found themselves 1-5 down shortly after half time, I had the first inkling it wasn't going well. Indeed, 20,000 other folk around us appeared wholly convinced of this fact. My kids learned some new and unusual Anglo-Saxon expressions. The manager got the sack. Even the away supporters cringed with embarrassment. But apart from all that, it was a thoroughly enjoyable day out and at least the kids saw lots of goals. In our team's net.

October 2010: Two years older and wiser, we decided to repeat the experiment. Surely it couldn't be quite as grim again. After all, our team had already been relegated twice in three seasons. Alas and alack, we proceeded to witness a 0-4 drubbing at the mighty hand of Brighton & Hove Albion. In the third division (cunningly rebranded "League One" to lend it an aura of respectability). This was the comfortably the worst defeat since... since… well, since the last time we were there of course.

So, be warned England. Ian Botham and Freddie Flintoff may think we are going to win this time. But they haven't reckoned with Burton sneaking into the stands to cheer the lads on.

Looking on the bright side, we may have a chance in the First Test. I don't arrive until it's over.

[Original comments]

pam November 23, 2010 at 11:41 AM

"The mighty hand of Brighton & Hove" not often they are referred to as that ... love it - just wait till the new stadium's done! You going anywhere near Mudgee on this trip? You could pop into that vineyard and polish off all their tasting wine again (even the ones you didn't like)... oh happy youth! Have fun

Richard November 23, 2010 at 4:12 PM

Ah yes Mudgee - aptly named as it resembled the state of my brain after sampling the wares at that vineyard. I don't remember not liking anything though, quite the opposite in fact!

Mark deMeza November 24, 2010 at 9:06 PM

Richard, Looking at your photo, I hope you will become a true soldier of the barmy army by the end of your trip - shiny bald head, shiny round belly with a tattoo prominently displayed (often a female name, not necessarily a spouse)