18-19 January 2020
3rd Test, Day 3: England 499 for 9 dec, South Africa 208 for 6
3rd Test, Day 4: England 499 for 9 dec, South Africa 209 all out & 102 for 6
Disappointingly, there wasn’t too much action on Day 3 due to the unseasonal weather conditions in Port Elizabeth. I’m as concerned as the next man by the ongoing drought in this region, so accept that rain is good most of the time - just not during a Test match. I was also expecting any summer rain here to be of the warm variety; instead, both Saturday and Sunday were unrelentingly cool and windy. The wise locals seemed to have come prepared with all manner of rain-proof layers, leaving many a tourist - including myself - needing to raid the Barmy Army merchandise stall to keep warm.
On Day 3, we experienced both “good England” and “bad England” either side of the 3+ hour rain delay. The naked statistics show that the home side added a further 148 runs for the loss of 4 wickets. The reality was that Dom Bess continued to rip the heart out of the South African top order in the first session, picking up all of the first five wickets to fall. This is such a rare feat for a spinner that it last happened in 1975 (my boyhood hero Derek Underwood against Australia). Bess had bowled superbly well in Cape Town without taking the wickets his control and accuracy deserved, but here he only needed 17.3 overs to bag a maiden “five-for” in Tests. Incredible to think Bess wasn’t originally selected for the tour party and is only second choice spinner at his home county, Somerset (to Jack Leach).
Nothing against Leach, who did well enough in the Ashes last summer, but I do wonder if, with Leach and Bess, there are parallels with the Monty Panesar and Graeme Swann situation a decade or so ago. Leach and Panesar - both left-armers providing good variation but not quite world-class, neither taken too seriously as batsmen but both famous for participating in heroic last wicket stands against Australia, both popular characters - maybe because every club cricketer can relate to them (Leach even played in an amateur club match on a free Saturday during the Ashes). Swann and Bess - both off-spinners who build pressure through consistency, better batsmen and fielders, arguably more likely to produce match-winning performances (certainly in Swann’s case, whereas for Bess it’s too early to judge on the basis of this one performance but things are clearly looking promising for him at the moment). Could Bess go on to become England’s new Swann of the 2020s?
The other thing we learned from Day 3 was that Ben Stokes is human after all. It’s a big shock. After his catching heroics at Newlands, it seemed unthinkable he would drop even one catch. In fact, he shelled three in a row (to be followed by a difficult but catchable fourth chance on Day 4), allowing Quinton de Kock to delay England’s charge with 63 not out. The other irritant for “bad England” was nightwatchman Anrich Nortje, a number ten any other day, who survived over three hours and 136 balls at the crease - time out of the game that England could ill afford with bad weather around. Nortje had earlier been reprieved by a Joe Root drop off Bess, but the skipper made no mistake when Stokes induced an edge, some atonement for his unusual fielding lapses.
Day 4 started well for me when I shared a lift with Jonathan Agnew, the voice of BBC’s Test Match Special (though not in this particular series, as the Beeb has lost the rights to TalkSport). He told me his voice was already getting a bit croaky after the first three days, so I did my best to sympathise that the long rain delays must mean he has to “make more stuff up”. I’m sure everyone has experienced that sense of regret that something you said could - just maybe - have been phrased a little better.
That was quite exciting really as I haven’t knowingly met many well-known people in the flesh (or more likely, I haven’t noticed or even recognised loads). Anyway, here’s a brief selection of encounters:
Other famous person I have shared a lift with: Kofi Annan (obviously not alone, as with "Aggers", but together with around ten security personnel. Clearly I didn't make any sudden moves, such as pressing"floor 9" for example)
Famous person I have been to the gents toilet with: Rudy Giuliani (at a conference hotel in Munich, also with attendant security personnel. It became a bit crowded at the urinals)
Famous football manager who has abused me in the workplace: Brian Clough (who called me “a little shit” while I was doing the accounts at Nottingham Forest - not because I got my debits and credits wrong, but because I was blocking his way to the drinks cabinet)
Charlton legend I have spoken to in a curry house: Garry Nelson (who asked me if I had “enjoyed his cameo” - he had earlier come on as substitute in the last few minutes of a comfortable home win, at least proving that he has a sense of humour. A lovely guy is Nelse)
Charlton players I have stood next to on the rush-hour commute to London Bridge: Jason Pearce and Ben Reeves (who were en route to an away match - at the time I was so annoyed with their recent abject performances that I refused even to acknowledge their existence. That’ll learn ‘em).
Back at the cricket, Aggers’ poorly vocal cords must have been tested to the limit by what unfolded in the first half hour of Day 4. It was one of those rare but glorious periods of play where you don’t quite believe at the time what is happening, but can later look back with misty eyes and say “I was there”. Stumps flew in all directions as Stuart Broad swept away any remaining hopes of tail-end resistance, while Sam Curran snared the vital wicket of South Africa’s wicketkeeper, thus satisfying the Barmy Army’s chanted demand to “get de Kock out for the lads”. Four wickets for just one run and South Africa were being asked to follow on a huge 290 runs behind. Nobody would have predicted that at the start of play - and those Barmies who slept in after a heavy Saturday night certainly regretted it when they woke up and checked the score.
I saw some idiot on the BBC website had questioned Joe Root’s decision to make South Africa “follow on”, claiming England should have hit another 100 or so runs quickly and set a demoralising target of around 400. For those of us in the ground, fretting about the dodgy weather forecast for the next two days, it was blindingly obvious Root's choice was the right one. But it’s generally true that this tactic has gone out of fashion in the modern era. Root’s decision was further justified when rain intervened again shortly after the start of the home side’s second dig. Another frustrating long delay ensued - no sooner did the covers come off than they had to go on again. This must have happened three or four times during another three hour delay.
Eventually play restarted at 2.10pm, albeit under floodlights, with the possibility of playing till 6pm. Luckily for England, the rain held off and the bowlers were able to chip away at the fragile and now confidence-bereft upper order of their hosts. First Mark Wood’s pace shattered Dean Elgar’s stumps, then “strangled” Zubayr Hamza to a catch down the legside. Poor Hamza looked mentally shot in both innings, a young player desperately trying to fill the immense shoes of Hashim Amla and, previously, Jacques Kallis at number three. A South African fan I spoke to pointed out that Amla had had similar struggles when he first came into the side, but I’d be surprised if we see Hamza play at the Wanderers (if he does, it will speak volumes about the dearth of other options).
Then came the second minor miracle of today - Joe Root’s off spinners accounted for the next four wickets (and very nearly a fifth), his best figures in Tests by far. Ollie Pope too continued to impress, following his batting performance with a spectacular diving catch at short leg to dismiss Rassie van der Dussen (short aside: has there ever been a more Afrikaaner name than Rassie van der Dussen? I’ll wait). Ollie had already snaffled an equally sharp catch in the first innings. The day ended with the South African batting in ruins again at 102 for 6, meaning they scored a paltry 103 runs today for the loss of 11 wickets. As good as England were, this was a horrible effort from a demoralised and limited home team. It was also not much use for my sweepstake entry, which had rashly predicted 33 as the number of fours to be struck in the day (there were only 13).
Will the weather intervene on Day 5 to save South Africa and send the series to Johannesburg on level terms? Or will there be sufficient playing time, as there ultimately had been on Days 3 and 4, for England to take just four more wickets and go 2-1 up with one to play? My feeling is that we may need to bring some patience with us tomorrow - along with warmer clothing.